otpprompts:

A and B both have the whole day off to themselves and desperately want to have sex, but any time they even consider it one of A’s relatives (or someone of your NOTP) keeps spontaneously interrupting them with something unimportant, and it’s the same person every time. By the end of the day when they’re finally alone and get the chance to fuck, the same person tries calling them. Instead of answering the phone, a very frustrated A screams, grabs it, and violently throws it out of the room.

thoodleoo:

ancient roman artist 1: hey i got this commission today and i’m not really sure i understand it, can you help
ancient roman artist 2: yeah, what’s up
ancient roman artist 1: so they want a figurine of a woman riding a dick but that’s all they said
ancient roman artist 2: oh, that’s easy, it’s like riding a horse, but instead it’s a giant dick. you know, with feet and everything
ancient roman artist 1: are you sure that’s what this means
ancient roman artist 2: i mean yeah what else could it be
ancient roman artist 1: i guess you’re right but i’ll throw in a bonus dick just in case tho
ancient roman artist 2: always a good idea

Source: thoodleoo